When we live life through projections, judgments, achievements, goals and outcomes, we live a life of fragmentation.
I know this myself as I lived a life of fragmentation for a long time. A life lived on an outer level, a life of tension, compression and effort based on becoming something and someone. Completely ignorant of the fact that there was no one to become, nor anything that I could achieve that could possibly add to my sense of self.
The bottom line is that we are already perfect as we are, nothing can be added and nothing can be subtracted. We come in complete and we leave complete, we bring no-thing in and we take no-thing out.
The qualities that we do bring and do take with us are derived from the inner sense of the complete self. Love, compassion, will, drive, heart, passion and enthusiasm for starters all arise in the felt sense from the centre of the self. You don’t think them, you feel them, you are them.
The self is always complete, always whole.
The fragmentation occurs when we believe our life is constructed by what we do, when we try to derive an identity by what we do in this world.
The shocking thing about this fact is that this is the way most people live their lives, fragmented, disassociated and guarded, the repercussions are doubt, fear, defensiveness, aggressiveness, self judgment, guilt, selfishness and sadly even violence.
The fragmentation can lead to a successful outer life that is a given, but it’s only a given from the perspective of what it looks like from the outside. Most people do the things they do to be seen doing it, but that feeds nothing to the self, nor does it nourish the soul.
If you can’t be enjoying something without being seen to do it then you are really not enjoying it at all.
We feed each other this philosophy and ideaology of success on an outer level, but it’s pure projection.
Life is not a movie, you can’t live it authentically on an outer level in the world of objects and doing and ignore your own basic truth. Most people try but it’s a hollow, fragmented existence that leads to a gnawing, empty feeling that we need anaesthesia to keep down; drugs, alcohol, tobacco and addiction in all of its forms, and if you think drugs are the only type of addiction then you’d be kidding yourself.
Anything we hide in is an addiction that dulls our senses to put away this gnawing feeling of life not feeling whole, full or at ease.
Fragmentation has us living a life of disconnect, it’s just a constant seeking, seeking answers out there in the cold world of objects, trying to find answers to life in a world of inanimate objects, who wouldn’t need a drink?
We are not that!
We are not out there, we are in here. The source of all your problems and the answers to all your problems are right here, always have been.
You can’t overcome yourself in the outside world, you can run but you can’t hide. Go wherever you like but you will always be there.
Do whatever you like to get away from the truth, try to become whatever you can but still you won’t be able to drop yourself. You can bullshit the world but you’ll never bullshit yourself.
If you try to overcome you’ll be overrun! Sooner or later the self or the soul will come calling for wholeness, some avoid it all the way to the deathbed. I am not talking against goals, achievements and outcomes.
The opportunity is to take doing to another level, doing on a conscious level, letting go of the things that feel heavy and are not aligned to your true purpose. If you don’t know what your purpose is don’t look for it in the outer world, you won’t find it, look inwards, what excites you? What motivates you? What do you love? What brings enthusiasm?
Now, let it catch fire, let it burn, and as it does it will burn up your outer world of illusion and you will begin for the first time to follow your own authentic truth and the power behind that movement is the ultimate truth, you are coming home. Now you start to get the true sense of what success and self definition actually mean.
You will gain immunity from bullshit, fragmentation and disassociation. You will begin to stand in your own power as the truth of who you actually are starts to make it presence felt.
The only way out is in!