You can’t have a beginning without an end. When we really do get to the end of our tether, that’s where we really find out what we are made of.
Nothing comes together until everything has fallen apart!
Sometimes the things or people that are most dear to us have to leave so we can touch the surface of the nothingness in which our true sense of self can start to emerge.
Unfortunately for some of us, that’s what it takes. Or maybe it’s just what is needed for us to truly evolve.
So, once again, we get what we need, not what we want. We dream those two things are one and the same, trust me, they are not.
“There will come a time when you believe that everything is finished; that will be the beginning” ~ Louis L’Amour
Now, people keep reading these blogs and asking if I am in pain. Yes, I speak from pain. Only because, for the first time in my life, I am fully allowing its presence.
It is no measure of health to appear healthy when we are carrying the burden of unmet pain.
That’s what most of us do. The only difference in me now is that I am calling it out.
Guess what? Yes, it really is OK and safe to not be OK.
More than that, it is the way out of pain. In some ways, I am possibly more OK than I have ever been in my life. Why?
Because the pain is not killing me, I’m growing in it. The end of my own bullshit has brought me to the precipice of myself as I actually am. No pretences, no sugar coating, no bullshit. Me, warts and all.
All my dark corners are fully exposed.I feel like it’s about time we were honest with each other and ourselves.
This ongoing scribbling you are reading is just one man's journey to the centre of himself. It’s f..king ugly, uncomfortable, beautiful, heart warming, heart breaking and everything in between.
There has been a darkness in me ever since I was a little kid, the running is over, the guilt perpetuates more things to feel guilty about. I’ve hurt myself, and, when we hurt ourselves we hurt others, hurt hurts!
So the end is nigh and so is the beginning. If I have one wish, it is this, that the writing reaches you, touches you, inspires you and sends you off on your own journey of self discovery and truth.
Much love,
Gilesy