Toxic Positivity

Mental Skills

Sounds paradoxical, right? How could positivity be negative?

What you don’t accept in yourself goes deeper into the subconscious and comes out in uglier ways. I think it was Carl Jung that coined that phrase.

Projecting Positivity is not positive. It can actually be toxic if your heart is sunk in darkness. External positive self-talk creates a wedge in yourself that moves you further away from the only truth that has the power to actually heal you.

So we talk a lot about positive self-talk, but we tend to ignore honest self-talk. Now, I’m not talking about self-berating, self-judgmental or destructive self-talk, just authentic self-honesty.

To sit with yourself and be honest about your own darkness brings more clarity to me in 10mins than I could get in days of therapy.Personally, it took me many years of hiding and disassociation to come to that realisation.

I find some therapy fields try to use positivity as the agent for change. I don’t want positivity, I want the truth. Reframing my pain does nothing to release it other than get me into a dispute with my own thinking.

I know I can only get the truth from myself. No one else is in here with me.

I have to be brutally honest, compassionate and gentle at the same time or the truth will once again dive into the protective disguise of my subconscious. If you only follow the positive aspects of yourself, you lose the chance to be able to accept and integrate the negative, conditioned aspects of self.

Homeostasis is the line you tread between the two. My so-called negative aspects have taught me far more about myself than the bullshit positivity meals I fed myself over many years. Sure, I was treading water and staying afloat, but I wasn't really going anywhere.

It doesn’t matter what you do or what you achieve, you can’t get away from yourself or from that inside you that needs your own compassionate attention.

This forms the basis of my whole approach both in regards to coaching and psychological aspects: don’t bullshit yourself!

Your deeper knowing has an intuitive ear for your own avoidance, you’ll feel it register in your belly and heart. Here’s the key to all this: Truth trumps positivity every time, both in sport and life.

Drop the avoidance!

Expose yourself, allow yourself to feel the suck and the pain, while you relax and remain as the compassionate observer. Yes you can.

The positive aspects of self-knowledge are down there hidden under a pile of rubble called the persona. A persona is the image or personality that a person presents in public or in a specific setting—as opposed to their true self.I

f you really want to know the truth of your own potential, then you need to begin to truly know yourself, then your motive and purpose will make itself known to you. Follow your own path.

You are the only one that can walk it.